A Wallflower

His father told him that to be happy, he must work hard and earn a living. He went home every night to burnt out lamps. The cold touch of him mother’s hand on his, as he watched the life drain from her. She said to him, “I will walk down those steps again. I will do it for you, knowing that you’re nothing like him.” A crown is not only for kings, but for tyrants, too. A signal is not only seen by angels, but by creatures of evil as well. You walk not only in the light, but in the dark as well. You are a man.

Smoke sank into my lungs, and I told you the secrets of my scars.

What did I have left to lose?

You told me that you could never love me, because you locked your heart away.

I told you that I would always love you, because you taught me how to love myself.

As we walked our separate ways our hearts were tied together.

Forever our hearts felt heavy.

Wherever you walked, I felt your love. Wherever I walked, you felt my love. 

You will never see my face again, and I will never see yours.

It’s hard to know that he’s just fine without me.

I pleaded and needed to know,

If meeting you was something I needed,

Or something I wanted. 

The past laughs at me-

Knowing more of the future than I.

The flower you gave me,

Dried up just as quickly as the memory of you.

Had you stayed,

Only fate knows what would’ve happened.

Fate decides if one’s happy or not.

Fate decides if I see you again.

Until then, I’ll only remember that taste,

Of your cigarette stained kiss.

Many thoughts arise when I walk near that spot where we had spoken moments before you left. I sit here under a shadow that will soon become rain. All that I wanted from you before you left was a kiss. Just so I could say to myself, “I kissed him because I wanted to, and he kissed me because he wanted to. I had seen you around, prior to these moments. I had seen you around this town that I thought I called home. I had always hoped that you would ask to sit by me. I had hoped that you would feel some sort of connection with me. My heart did not sink when you told me you were leaving town in a matter of days. Because all that I wanted was a kiss. All a person like me wants, is to know that the underlying mystery of a person like you was barely, yet slightly understood by a person like me.

The tree will never understand why it’s branches grow

The girl will never understand why her father left

The tree will never understand why it’s seeds fall

The girl will never understand why she will never be whole.

Seldom will she speak,

When her heart is cold and lonely.

A subtle smoke has risen,

From the chimney in the den.

Unnoticed by this world,

The smoke is moving on.

It’s uncolored with the air,

And flows slowly with the breeze.

Forever will it huddle,

On every end of the Earth.

Every breath you take is tainted,

With the smoke of her folly.